


I must think of a new life

by tshjortile



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Character Study, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:47:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24633310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tshjortile/pseuds/tshjortile
Summary: Adora thinks she's ready to go. She really does. But she's not, no matter how hard she tries to convince herself of the opposite. Maybe that's why she's secretly hoping for Catra to come. An Adora character study.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 40





	I must think of a new life

**Author's Note:**

> I have been drowning in feels since the She-Ra finale. So here is me contributing something to the Fandom. I was struck by Adora's vision of Catra in "Heart pt. 1", so much I had to make a character study out of it.
> 
> The title is a line from "Memory", from the musical Cats.  
> Adora is not in her healthiest mindset in this, as we know. Please use that information if you're sensitive to this kind of thing and stay safe!

„Catra, you came!“, she felt relief rush through her as she saw the familiar glint of blue-and-yellow eyes glowing in the dark. The next thing she saw was a smile, and the familiar “Hey, Adora” she had heard numerous shades of over the past years. Adora felt something in her shift. All was good, even just for a moment. Adora felt relief rush through her. Her head that had been spinning in the ever-lasting conflict of fear and determination finally came to a rest.

“Adora!”

Bow’s voice made her look away, and when she turned back her surroundings had changed to the sparring rooms in the fright zone. A much younger Catra made a step towards her, her hair a wild mane, her eyes curious, her heart wide-open – if only for her. Adora felt the slight pang at the memory, expected to be engulfed in some sort of simulation just as before. She didn’t dare close her eyes, miss a step, miss something, anything.

This time, however, the memory projection was different. Instead of her being pulled _into_ the memory, her surroundings changed. Instead of young cadet Catra, her friend’s next step transformed her into the one controlled by Horde Prime. Adora’s breath hitched; she didn’t want to see the slicked-back hair, the sickly green glow in her eyes, the smile that was not Catra’s own.

The moment passed too quickly for her to relive the terror saving Catra had given her; she still shook at the thought that she had _lost_ her, if not for She-Ra. Adora felt She-Ra’s powers waver as Lord Catra stood before her, the remains of Etheria turned to ashes behind her. Adora wanted to say something along the likes of _This is not you anymore_ , _you changed so much since then_!

Nothing came out. She felt a lump in her throat as the next Catra that stood before her was the one she had always known – teasing, feisty, fierce Catra, her best friend. She was just like she remembered her, from before they were on different sides of the war. Adora felt her breath hitch as Catra, _her_ Catra, stepped out of the memory.

She was herself again, the Catra that meant _so much_ to her, that made her feel light headed and her heart hurt because it felt just too much. This Catra stayed, bringing their foreheads together. It didn’t matter that Adora had lost She-Ra for a moment, because for Catra, it didn’t matter whether she could be She-Ra or not.

“Catra”, Adora spoke again, the heavy weight lifted just a slight bit from her shoulders so she could breathe again, just for a bit. She felt Catra’s hand on her cheek, she felt her breath on her face as they spent a moment to just breathe. Adora was sure of it.

But when she tried to catch Catras hand, maybe lay it on the failsafe right above her heart so she could at least feel what Adora was not able to speak, she grasped nothing but thin air.

 _You cannot let yourself be distracted, Adora_ , a voice that sounded a lot like Shadow-Weaver echoed in her head. The weight of the world that had been lifted from her shoulders came crashing down on her with double the weight. Adora’s heart felt heavy as she stared into the dark abyss she had almost walked into. _You cannot let yourself be distracted_ , she reminded herself, this time in her own voice. _You cannot fail. You have to save Catra. You have to save everybody. No matter at what cost._

“Adora, there you are!”

She turned at Bow and Glimmer, who seemed relieved that she did not leave them behind, and forced herself to smile. _I’m ready_ , she thought to herself. It did not feel like when she stepped away from the side corridor.


End file.
